EXAMPLE 01
A teacher, after communicating with the parents of some students, discovers that there is a group chat among the students on a social networking app, like Viber, for instance. In this group, certain classmates post photos of a particular student along with mocking comments and derogatory remarks. In other words, the teacher is faced with a situation of online bullying.
In this specific scenario, it’s very likely that the teacher may have mixed feelings towards both the students who engaged in these behaviours and the student who was the target of these actions. However, it’s crucial for the teacher to acknowledge their own feelings and ensure that their feelings towards the students haven’t changed due to the students’ behaviour. One helpful approach that the teacher could initially adopt with the children involved in these actions is that of “word modification”. Instead of saying, “Your behaviour was embarrassing and unacceptable”, the teacher could express, “I appreciate your attitude and always will, but I am disappointed by your actions”. This way, the teacher avoids directly criticising the children but expresses disapproval of their specific behaviour.
Similarly, the LAFF technique could be a valuable tool in the teacher’s hands to initially approach the student who experienced bullying behaviour. The first and very important step of LAFF, as mentioned earlier, involves the teacher attentively listening to the student by applying principles of Empathy. Phrases such as “Thank you for coming today to talk”, “I greatly appreciate your trust and willingness to share with me”, and “You’re very brave to speak about something so important” are statements that acknowledge the student’s courage to discuss their feelings while also demonstrating the teacher’s readiness to stand by the child. Subsequently, if the child is willing to talk about their experiences, the teacher could proceed with open-ended follow-up questions to better understand the child’s perspective and feelings. In this way, a safe space is created where the child can express their emotions, while allowing the teacher to comprehend how the child is experiencing the current situation. Following the principles of Empathic Active Listening, the teacher could further advance to the final steps of the LAFF technique by summarising and restating what has been said, ensuring that they have accurately grasped the situation, as well as by reassuring the child that she/he will take steps towards further understanding the situation and finding a possible solution. This approach helps secure a precise intervention and support plan. The specific example used here demands immediate action and mobilisation on the teacher’s part. Searching for appropriate sources of help is necessary to ensure the right intervention and support for all of the children involved in this hypothetical scenario.
EXAMPLE 02
The bell for the school break rings, and eleven-year-old A. reluctantly walks up to her teacher, Mrs. K. She is not sure if it’s the right thing to do, but she doesn’t know what else she could do. She hasn’t had any friends at school for a few months and she doesn’t want to burden her family with such meaningless issues. So she decides to talk to Mrs. K., who is always kind and willing to talk to all the children in the class. Mustering all the bravery she can summon and taking a deep breath beforehand, A. tells her teacher that she has been feeling awful for the past two months. This is a result of her discovering that an Instagram profile utilises her name and other personal data. The majority of these images were taken in the schoolyard, without A.’s knowledge, and are accompanied by insulting remarks; in fact, some of the images have been edited. A.’s face has been painted with moustaches, glasses, and moles, and written comments like “Cheugy*” or “Mid*” are frequently included. A. finds it difficult to control her tears when she confides all of this to her teacher. She is at a loss as to how to remove this extremely painful page off her computer. She is unaware of its creator’s identity or motivation. She just wants to wake up one day and have it all be a bad joke!
(*These words are used in the context of Gen-Z popular vocabulary. You may look up their meanings in the glossary provided at the beginning of this guide. For your convenience, we also provide their definitions here: “Cheugy*” = uncool, trying too hard to be cool – an insulting term / “Mid*” = mediocre, average – an insulting term)
In this example, little A. is making a lot of effort to talk to someone about the significant challenge she faces on a daily basis at home and at school. It is possible that Mrs. K., the child’s teacher, felt some powerful emotions herself, such as anxiety, sadness, or anxiety, upon witnessing little A. crying and displaying great confusion. The teacher’s first and most challenging task in this situation is learning to control her own emotions. The more calm she is during that difficult “crisis” moment, the more helpful and encouraging she will be to the child!
Even in a situation like the one in the example, the LAFF approach can prove helpful. This technique’s initial phase establishes our attitude toward our interlocutor, asking us to listen attentively and with an open mind to what he has to say. Therefore, the teacher has to start by paying close attention to the student who is standing across from her and has chosen to communicate something very significant with her. It is very crucial not to express doubt to the child, even if we feel that he or she is lying to us or exaggerating in what they say. While we may always remember that children are honest about such topics, most of the time when something significant happens to them, they find it hard to speak with others about it. It is crucial to be a good listener and protect the child’s feelings for the sake of our future Communication relationship as well as, most importantly, for the child’s safety.
The technique’s following stage enables us to ask questions—preferably open ones—to further examine the circumstances and collect as much data as we can from the child during our talk.
Our primary goal is to establish a safe environment for Communication, therefore we always honor the child’s desire to share or withhold information from us. Ultimately, summarizing and restating what has been stated helps in our comprehension of the discussion’s subject matter and enables us to reassure the other person that we have been engaged fully the entire time.