EMPATHETIC ANNOTATIONS – PRODUCTIVE QUESTIONS – PARAPHRASING
(THE “LAFF” TECHNIQUE)
A few widely recognised techniques of Active Listening involve a) using empathetic annotations, b) asking productive questions, and c) paraphrasing the speaker’s statements to exhibit attentiveness and confirm understanding [27].
In the context of this Guide, we have selected to showcase one specific technique, namely the “LAFF” Technique, because it is easy to remember and put into practice in daily interactions.
The “LAFF” technique, introduced and tested by McNaughton et al., offers a practical way for two people to engage while valuing their perspectives. This strategy was tested on teacher-parent relationships but can be applied in various relationships, including that of adults-children.
The four letters L-A-F-F stand for the four steps the technique involves:
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This letter represents the word “Listen” in english. Listen, Empathise and Communicate Respect |
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This letter represents the word “Ask” in english. Ask Productive Questions |
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These letters represent the words “Focus” and “Find” in english. Focus on what has been shared (by paraphrasing) |
Focusing on the “LAFF” Technique
Listen, Empathise and Communicate Respect (using empathetic annotations)
Starting with “L”, adults should listen, empathise, and convey respect to children. This involves attentively hearing out concerns and responding with Empathy. Demonstrating respect entails thanking children for reaching out, focusing on them, and using appropriate body language and facial expressions. Some useful expressions that we could use in this particular step are the following: “What would you like to talk about?”, “I can understand why you are concerned, this is a serious problem”, “I appreciate that you came to talk with me”, etc.
Ask Productive Questions
The “A” step involves asking questions and gathering insights on the issue shared by children. This respectful inquiry helps understand the children’s viewpoint. As gaining insight can only happen by advancing the conversation, it is advised to avoid asking closed-off questions that only require a “Yes” or “No” answer during this step. Instead, follow-up questions such as “What more can you tell me to help me understand?”, “What would I see if I was there?”, “Let’s talk more about ………….. (a person/a situation/a specific action); how did make you feel?”, or “Why do you think …………. (a person/a situation/a specific action) turned out/acted/reacted/spoke this way?”, or “Did it turn out how you thought it would? Why or why not?” are more useful choices at this step. Even if children can’t answer these questions, they are encouraged to think more about what they’re trying to tell us and organise their thoughts so that it’s easier for them to open up .
Focus on what has been shared (by paraphrasing) & Find a first step
Moving to two “F’s”, with the first “F”, adults focus on reviewing the issue by paraphrasing shared information to ensure accuracy, while displaying evidence of Active Listening. A good starting point is to use a signal phrase, such as “So, if I understand this correctly, what you are saying is…”. It’s important to keep the paraphrase brief and accurate, without leaving out any crucial details and at the same time making sure not to insert our own opinions, interpretations, or assumptions. To conclude the paraphrase, a question like “Am I on the right track?” is useful for adults to confirm if they’ve captured the intended meaning accurately.
The second “F” directs adults to find a starting point for addressing the issue. Immediate action is needed if the situation is dangerous, but most issues benefit from gathering more details and careful consideration. At this point, it is OK for adults to take some time to think about the next steps instead of taking action immediately. However it is important to communicate to the children that we will indeed take steps in helping them. For this reason it is very useful to use phrasing that involves the words “first step”, such as “I think the first step is to get more information and then we will start to think about possible solutions together”, or “As a first step, I’d like to meet with ……….. (your teacher / your friends’ parents/ the school’s principal, etc.). I want to find out what they ………… (see/saw/hear/heard/know). After this, we will make a plan for next steps” .