{"id":941,"date":"2026-03-12T13:27:07","date_gmt":"2026-03-12T13:27:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941"},"modified":"2026-03-12T14:22:38","modified_gmt":"2026-03-12T14:22:38","slug":"navigating-screen-time-bullying-and-cultural-norms-reflections-from-migrant-parents-in-germany","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941","title":{"rendered":"Navigating Screen Time, Bullying, and Cultural Norms \u2013 Reflections from Migrant Parents in Germany"},"content":{"rendered":"

A contribution from Anja Treichel and Siphilisiwe Ndlovu<\/strong><\/p>\n

Bundeselternnetzwerk der Migrantenorganisationen f\u00fcr Bildung und Teilhabe (bbt)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Draft \u2013 June 2025<\/h5>\n
\n

This article builds on our earlier reflections on internet addiction among migrant youth. There, we looked at what happens when screens become a child’s escape from the offline world and discussed the phenomenon of parentification, when children take over parents\u2019 tasks and therefore lose their childhood. Now, we turn our attention to a related but often invisible pressure: What happens when that same screen becomes a doorway for bias, bullying, and silence? We shift from the individual to the institutional, from coping to collective care, and from isolation to new kinds of shared boundaries that hold, not hurt. It explores how immigrant parents in Germany experience two particularly charged issues: limiting screen time and bullying. Drawing on cultural theory, social research, and lived experience, it questions the assumptions behind well-meaning parenting advice and calls for a broader, more inclusive understanding of what parenting means in a migration society.<\/p>\n

\n

Table of Contents<\/h4>\n

Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility<\/strong><\/h5>\n
    \n
  1. Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online<\/li>\n
  2. Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure<\/li>\n
  3. From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline<\/li>\n
  4. Setting Boundaries Is Not Just a Family Task<\/li>\n
  5. Giving Voice: Tools for Families to Speak and Be Heard<\/li>\n
  6. Building Shared Agency: Empowering Kids Without Isolating Them<\/li>\n
  7. Continuity and Follow-Up: Making Boundaries Last<\/li>\n
  8. From Scattered Apps to Coherent Support Systems<\/li>\n
  9. From Parents in Isolation to Co-Learning Communities<\/li>\n
  10. From Lines That Hurt to Lines That Hold<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
    Part II: Reframing Parenting Norms in a Migration Society<\/strong><\/h5>\n
      \n
    1. From Complexity to Context \u2013 Why ‘Setting Boundaries’ Isn\u2019t So Simple<\/li>\n
    2. Parenting in the Context of Migration<\/li>\n
    3. What Is Culture, Anyway?<\/li>\n
    4. Cultural Dimensions and Parenting<\/li>\n
    5. The Power of Framing and Generational Influence<\/li>\n
    6. Conclusion: Boundaries Are Not One-Size-Fits-All<\/li>\n
    7. Toward a More Inclusive Parenting Discourse
      \n
      \n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
      \n
      Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility<\/strong><\/h5>\n
      \n
        \n
      1. \n
        \n

        Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online:<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n

        In the past, an insult on the playground might have ended with detention. Now, it follows children home, lives in their pockets, and sometimes reappears years later as a meme. In our work across migrant communities in Germany, we\u2019ve seen how racial, religious, and cultural bullying rarely stops at the schoolyard \u2013 on the contrary, the schoolyard is a fertile breeding ground for it. It mutates. It spreads through chat threads, gaming servers, and WhatsApp groups and then returns to the classroom, more charged than before.<\/p>\n

        \n

        How do you draw fair, realistic boundaries when the harm doesn\u2019t stop at the school gate? What does it take for a teacher to respond with care, not just punishment? And how do migrant families, often juggling three languages, rotating shifts, and little institutional trust, step in early enough to protect their children without cutting them off from their peers and making them feel excluded?<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      2. Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        The 2022 KIM study shows that 70% of children in Germany use the internet, with rates increasing sharply with age. By age 10\u201311, more than half own a smartphone. However, two-thirds of parents report not using parental controls or filters. Immigrant parents may face additional barriers: limited digital literacy, lack of information in their language, or uncertainty about what constitutes “normal” screen time.<\/p>\n

        \n

        For many immigrant families, phones are lifelines. Children translate bus routes, send voice notes to cousins in Syria or Ghana, and upload photos of their Eid or Orthodox Christmas celebrations to group chats, but in the same chats, they are told their food smells. Or their skin is dirty. Or their headscarf looks like a napkin.<\/p>\n

        \n

        According to the 2024 RKI report, 48% of migrant children in Germany report experiencing bias-based bullying in person, and 35% online but these are not two different numbers. They\u2019re often the same insult, just traveling between spaces. A slur shouted in the hallway becomes a screenshot. A teasing nickname becomes a TikTok comment.<\/p>\n

        \n

        These difficulties are often compounded in households with multiple generations. Grandparents may not understand the appeal of screens or may use them to soothe children, unaware of educational or behavioral consequences. In multigenerational homes, boundaries are constantly negotiated, often unspokenly, across generational lines. Parents are often told to “limit screen time” to reduce risk, but limiting hours doesn\u2019t limit harm when group chats continue after curfew. Instead, we suggest anchoring phone-free moments to cultural or spiritual rituals: Friday dinners, post-prayer stillness, moments of rest. Let rules feel like collective care, not punishment. Create cool-off windows after school, and frame them as a shared pause: “We\u2019re pausing because this space has too much noise.”<\/p>\n

        \n

        For many migrant families, a simple rule like \u201cno phones after eight\u201d isn\u2019t simple at all. It\u2019s not just about discipline, it\u2019s about connection. A device turned off might mean missing the only daily call from a father in another country. Or ignoring a cousin\u2019s voice note that reminds a child where they come from and who still remembers their name. So, what does a boundary look like when it doesn\u2019t cut, but holds? It starts with recognizing what\u2019s at stake. Not just screen time, but identity. Not just safety but belonging. Boundaries don\u2019t have to isolate. They can gather. They can protect without controlling. They can feel like an inside joke, a ritual, a shared pause that everyone understands, not because someone printed it in a flyer, but because the family wrote it together. What if screen time guidance started from the truth that, for some children, the online world is the only place they are fully seen, called by their real name, spoken to in the language they still dream in?<\/p>\n

        \n

        Not all boundaries are walls. Some are scaffolding, made to hold us up when the world outside doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      3. From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        A fight in the hallway. A whisper during PE. A teasing remark about lunch. These don\u2019t just stay put. They travel. Playground taunts become WhatsApp group jokes. A peer records a tantrum, then posts it with mocking music. Girls wearing hijab are filmed secretly and edited into anti-Muslim memes. Cyberbullying moves with harm and many schools still treat online and offline bullying as unrelated: a digital problem for IT, a schoolyard problem for the teacher.<\/p>\n

        \n

        We need to track these transitions. Schools can make reporting forms multilingual and visual, accessible through QR codes or posters. Encourage students to report patterns, not just incidents. Pair online and offline records. If bullying is reported in class, check digital spaces. For teachers, the shift must be from reactive to systemic: ask, where did this start and where did it land?<\/p>\n

        \n

        For parents, it means validating a child\u2019s online hurt without making them feel like they caused it by \u201cbeing on their phone.\u201d What if teachers treated every racist meme in a chat group as seriously as if it were scrawled on the whiteboard?<\/p>\n

        \n

        When children face bullying, parents\u2019 responses range from \u201ctoughen up\u201d to \u201cI will protect you from everything.\u201d Both extremes are rooted in experience. Some parents survived bullying themselves and see it as a rite of passage. Others, having experienced racism, fear for their children\u2019s emotional safety and try to control their environment.<\/p>\n

        \n

        But bullying today, especially in digital spaces, is not what it once was. The permanence of online content, the public nature of shaming, and the anonymity of perpetrators create a new landscape of threat. Many immigrant parents are unfamiliar with these dynamics and are left with few tools, linguistic, cultural, or institutional, to respond. They often don\u2019t know where to turn, or what their children are actually going through.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Schools and kindergartens, again, play a crucial role here. Are anti-bullying policies culturally sensitive? Are teachers trained to recognize when a child is being targeted not only for their behavior but for their name, their skin color, their religion? Parents need allies, not gatekeepers. Institutions must move from seeing bullying as a private, family issue to a systemic one with structural roots.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Effective responses begin with understanding. What is bullying? What is discrimination? What rights do children and parents have? Without this knowledge, which is not always available in multiple languages, parents cannot advocate effectively. Empowering children starts with empowering parents.<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      4. Setting Boundaries Is Not Just a Family Task:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        Much of the advice migrant families receive is framed as \u201ctips\u201d: Monitor your child. Limit screen time. Set boundaries. Attend workshops. Do your job, but many of these assume time, trust, and language comfort that not all families have. In our bbt workshops, parents tell us: \u201cI didn\u2019t understand the school invite.\u201d \u201cThe last time I reported something, nothing happened.\u201d \u201cMy child begged me not to say anything because they feel embarrassed that I don\u2019t speak the language so well.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n

        Boundaries cannot be enforced by overwhelmed parents alone. Schools must offer translated guidelines; not just assume they\u2019re understood. Teachers should be trained to spot cultural triggers and bias patterns. Communities can create co-learning spaces where teens and parents explore privacy settings, story sharing, and peer protection together. A migrant parent working two shifts cannot patrol every group chat, but a school that tracks bullying patterns and intervenes early can prevent the worst. What if the real question wasn\u2019t \u201cWhy didn\u2019t parents act sooner?\u201d but \u201cWhat systems failed to act with them?\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      5. Giving Voice: Tools for Families to Speak and Be Heard:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        Silence is the soil where bias grows, but silence isn\u2019t just fear, it\u2019s often lack of tools. What does a child say when someone calls them a slur in a Minecraft chat? How does a parent raise concerns if they don\u2019t know the German word for \u201cbullying\u201d or \u201cgroup chat\u201d?We need tools that make voice possible. Phrase cards in key languages like Kiswahili, Arabic, or Romanian. Visual apps like ClassDojo that let kids report feelings without needing words. Storytelling circles where children act out real conflicts and co-create peaceful scripts. Words build protection. Without them, a parent\u2019s silence might be misread as indifference. What if language access were seen as essential as Wi-Fi in every school program?<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      6. Building Shared Agency: Empowering Kids Without Isolating Them:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        \u201cJust log off\u201d is not a solution when the chat group is your friend circle, and \u201cjust block them\u201d doesn\u2019t work when you sit next to them in class. Children need tools that protect without disconnecting. Let students form digital buddy systems pairing up to spot harmful content and report it. Train peer mediators to defuse tension. Use creative workshops like meme remixing or slam poetry to turn insult into insight.When kids feel agency, not guilt, they stop hiding problems and start helping solve them. What if every school had student-led response teams for digital harm the way it does for fire drills?<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      7. Continuity and Follow-Up: Making Boundaries Last:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        A single meeting is not enough. Parents attend an anti-bullying session then hear nothing for six months. Children report a racist comment then see no consequence. Protection must be predictable. Set quarterly check-ins with families. Share anonymized outcomes, \u201cThree chats reported, one resolved through apology.\u201d Build digital behavior into everyday school culture, not just emergencies. Consistency signals care. What if follow-up\u00b4s were seen as the core of protection, not the extra?<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      8. From Scattered Apps to Coherent Support Systems:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        Each new problem seems to come with a new app. Parents are told to check Moodle for homework, Iserv for messages, yet another app for lunch, and another still for safety alerts. Meanwhile, kids are juggling Discord, TikTok, WhatsApp, and PlayStation chat all at once. This fragmentation hides patterns and overwhelms families. Schools may think they\u2019ve \u201cdigitally modernized,\u201d but for many migrant parents, the digital landscape feels like a maze without a map. Let\u2019s bundle platforms. One dashboard, one login. Offer onboarding sessions in home languages, not just PDF guides. Train student or volunteer tech mentors who can support families in real time. Digital cohesion is not a luxury it\u2019s the ground beneath trust. What if every school saw digital clarity not as an extra but as part of safeguarding?<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      9. From Parents in Isolation to Co-Learning Communities:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        Too often, families feel alone: either left out of digital decisions or blamed when things go wrong. But isolation is not inevitable it\u2019s designed. It happens when schools rely solely on written communication, schedule parent evenings during shift hours, or treat \u201cdigital responsibility\u201d like common sense instead of a learnable skill. We need co-learning spaces. Host tech caf\u00e9s where parents and teens build skills side by side, not lectures, but labs. Celebrate plural expertise: let a grandmother who\u2019s mastered WhatsApp teach a teacher about privacy settings. Belonging begins when participation is real. What if digital citizenship started by seeing parents not as problems but as potential?<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      10. From Lines That Hurt to Lines That Hold:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        Some rules silence. Others protect. The difference is not in the intention but in the implementation. A \u201cno phones after 8\u202fpm\u201d rule can feel like exile if it cuts off a child\u2019s only connection to cousins abroad. But the same rule, practiced as a ritual, shared and adjusted, can create space for storytelling not shame.Involve kids in rule setting. Ask them what boundaries feel safe. Explain the \u201cwhy,\u201d not just the \u201cwhat.\u201d Revisit them often because growing up requires growth in rules too. Children don\u2019t need perfect systems. They need held spaces. What if every rule started with the question: What are we protecting and who gets to decide?<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n
        Part II: Reframing Parenting Norms in a Migration Society<\/h5>\n
        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      11. From Complexity to Context \u2013 Why ‘Setting Boundaries’ Isn\u2019t So Simple:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        In the first part, we provided an overview of the topics of \u201csetting boundaries\u201d and \u201cbullying\u201d from the perspective of immigrant parents. We listed many examples to illustrate how complex seemingly simple everyday decisions can be and what aspects, for example in transnational families make it harder for parents to set clear boundaries. We hope this offered a glimpse into the realities of migrant families\u2019 lives that may help educators, policymakers, or even parents themselves understand what migrant families are facing and where awareness is still lacking especially when all the challenges young people face are blamed on parents\u2019 \u201cincompetence\u201d or lack of engagement.<\/p>\n

        \n

        We feel we haven\u2019t yet emphasized enough how deeply parenting practices are shaped by culture, and how rare it is to find universally applicable parenting norms or styles that can be imposed on all families.<\/p>\n

        \n

        That\u2019s why in the following chapters, we take a closer look at the concept of the cultural embeddedness of parenting (including family cultures) and its implications for ideas like \u201csetting boundaries.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      12. Parenting in the Context of Migration:<\/strong><\/strong><\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        Parenting is never isolated from context. The way children are raised depends not only on individual choices but also on social conditions: income, housing, trauma, education, and culture that is socialization. Migration deeply affects parenting in ways that we are only beginning to understand. As Leyendecker et al. (2018) notes, \u201cMuch of the research on how migration impacts parenting is still at its infancy and what is available is primarily informed by research based on North-American populations.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n

        Moreover, the category “migration background” alone does not adequately describe the diverse realities of immigrant families. Socioeconomic status, level of education, and legal status all shape how families experience parenting in a new country. Yet despite this diversity, certain cross-cutting challenges can be identified\u2014especially for newly arrived families: unfamiliarity with the education system, lack of community ties, and the struggle to preserve family cohesion while adapting to new norms.<\/p>\n

        \n
        \n<\/li>\n
      13. What Is Culture, Anyway?<\/strong>
        \n
        \n

        To understand parenting differences, we must start with culture. Hofstede (1993) defined culture as \u201cthe collective programming of the mind that distinguishes the members of one group from another.\u201d Other definitions describe culture as fluid and changing. By \u201cculture\u201d we don\u2019t describe \u201cnational culture\u201d or \u201creligious culture\u201d, we don\u2019t ascribe fixed and unchangeable traits to groups of people which would be discriminatory and essentialist. Culture is never tied solely to ethnicity, nationality or language it exists in subcultures, families, generations, and more.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Everyone carries multiple cultures. Culture is created by people and shapes people in return. Reducing individuals to static cultural traits often leads to stereotyping, while denying culture as an influence ignores the deep ways it informs communication, values, judgments and the way we behave and think. For instance, when we feel irritated by someone else\u2019s behavior, it is often because they have violated a norm we unconsciously hold.<\/p>\n

        \n<\/li>\n
      14. \n
        \n

        Cultural Dimensions and Parenting<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n

        Hofstede and Trompenaars developed models that outline various culturally learned cognitive and behavioral dimensions that serve to make human behavior comparable and analyzable in its cultural embeddedness. Both models offer valuable tools for understanding cultural differences. Hofstede\u2019s model is more quantitative and nation-based, while Trompenaars\u2019 approach includes qualitative aspects and subcultures. These dimensions are often used to analyze conflicts in transnational teams and to offer solutions that move beyond the categories of \u201cright\u201d and \u201cwrong\u201d by operating with the idea of \u201cdifference.\u201d The goal is also to recognize the cultural embeddedness of one\u2019s own behavior and not to only attribute culture to others while denying it in oneself.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Cultural dimensions show tendencies and help people reflect on someone\u2019s behavior but they don\u2019t describe individuals.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Hofstede\u2019s theory remains valuable for practical conflict reflection but does not provide a universal solution. The complexity, hybridity, and modern identities\u2014especially in transnational contexts\u2014are only partially captured. The use of national boundaries has also been criticized. Nonetheless, these dimensions are insightful because they move us away from the assumption that our own values are universally correct and others\u2019 behavior is \u201cwrong\u201d for not adhering to them.<\/p>\n

        \n

        These dimensions clearly influence parenting behavior, particularly in preferred parenting styles and goals.<\/p>\n

        \n<\/li>\n
      15. \n
        \n

        The Power of Framing and Generational Influence<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n

        Values, shaped by culture, influence how parenting is framed and perceived. We tend to attribute positive values to our own behavior and negative ones to others, depending on the underlying norms. One parent may see themselves as \u201cprotective,\u201d while others label them \u201coverprotective.\u201d Many (immigrant) parents consciously reject authoritarian models they grew up with. Yet without role models for non-violent parenting, they struggle. How do you enforce rules without punishment? How do you pass on life experience without sounding controlling.<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n

        Parenting becomes more complex when influences collide. A grandparent may allow screen time that a parent restricts. A single parent working long hours may have limited capacity for supervision. Cultural expectations about decision-making authority\u2014between parents, elders, or institutions\u2014often clash.<\/p>\n

        \n<\/li>\n
      16. \n
        \n

        Boundaries Are Not One-Size-Fits-All<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n

        The directive to \u201cset boundaries\u201d sounds deceptively simple. In reality, it rests on a web of cultural, social, and emotional assumptions. For immigrant families, parenting involves navigating multiple worlds at once. Before we advise, we must listen.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Ultimately, if we wish to foster a society that takes all its children seriously, we must also take all forms of parenting seriously, not only those that match dominant expectations. That means making room for doubt, for difference, and for the insight that the boundary between “good” and “bad” parenting is often drawn by those least affected by its consequences. We must recognize that there are many ways to approach challenges in parenting.<\/p>\n

        \n<\/li>\n
      17. \n
        \n

        Toward a More Inclusive Parenting Discourse<\/strong><\/p>\n

        \n

        Parenting advice in Germany often centers middle-class norms, but most parenting challenges are systemic: crowded housing, limited access to daycare, lack of translation support, social stigma. Immigrant parents need support that is empathetic, structurally informed, and culturally responsive.<\/p>\n

        \n

        At the same time, public and political discourse tends to reduce immigrant parenting to a question of deficit and dysfunction. Headlines frame parents as either too authoritarian or too permissive \u2013 sometimes both. Policy documents emphasize integration through language acquisition and school attendance, but rarely consider what institutional changes are needed to include immigrant perspectives.<\/p>\n

        \n

        And what about the schools and kindergartens? How much space do they make for intercultural dialogue with parents? How many resources go into truly understanding the different parenting norms and lived experiences migrant families bring? Too often, institutions see themselves as neutral, while parents are viewed as the problem\u2014too passive, too controlling, too uninvolved, too permissive.<\/p>\n

        \n

        This discourse shapes expectations and subtly dictates what \u201cgood parenting\u201d looks like. When immigrant families don\u2019t match these expectations, they are pathologized instead of understood. The narrative becomes one of correction and control, rather than dialogue and mutual learning.<\/p>\n

        \n

        The media plays a crucial role. Parents with a migration background are often portrayed in simplistic ways: either as passive victims or as cultural threats. Nuanced portrayals of everyday parenting under precarious conditions are rare. This shapes public opinion and affects how schools and welfare agencies interact with families. That\u2019s why we decided to give them their \u201cvoice choice\u201d back.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Language in politics matters. Terms like “bildungsferne Schichten” (educationally distant social groups) or “Integrationsverweigerer” (groups that distinctively reject integration) reinforce negative stereotypes and obscure structural challenges. These narratives isolate migrant parents and erode institutional trust.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Meanwhile, initiatives to \u201cempower\u201d parents often operate within narrow frameworks. Without recognizing bilingualism, transnational ties, or trauma histories, they miss the mark. True empowerment requires recognition and a willingness to adapt institutions, not just families.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Importantly, many parenting resources in migrant families are informal: extended family, religious groups, neighborhood ties. These are rarely acknowledged by institutions but are central to children\u2019s development. Inclusive parenting discourse would build bridges between these networks and public services, rather than forcing families to choose.<\/p>\n

        \n

        To change this, journalism and policy must see migrant families as creative, resilient agents navigating multiple worlds. Listening means seeing beyond deficits. It means embracing complexity, contradictions, and the emotional labor of parenting under pressure.<\/p>\n

        \n

        Successful programs combine child education with family support, promote positive parenting, and foster resilience through stable relationships. Investing in parents is investing in children. And listening to migrant parents\u2019 voices is not a luxury\u2014it is a necessity.<\/p>\n

        \n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n
        \n
        References <\/strong><\/h5>\n

        Hurrelmann, K., & Richter, M. (Eds.). (2022). KIM Studie 2022<\/em>. Medienp\u00e4dagogischer Forschungsverbund S\u00fcdwest.<\/p>\n

        Robert Koch Institut. (2024). Traditional Bullying and Cyberbullying at Schools in Germany \u2013 HBSC Focus Report 1\/2024<\/em>. Berlin: RKI.<\/p>\n

        Leyendecker, B., Agache, A., & Aydin, H. (2018). Parenting in a New Land: Immigrant Families in Germany. European Psychologist, 23<\/em>(1), 57\u201371. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1027\/1016-9040\/a000311<\/a><\/p>\n

        Migration Policy Institute. (2016). Engaging Immigrant Parents in Schools: Strategies from Five Districts<\/em>. Washington, DC: MPI.<\/p>\n

        OECD. (2022). PISA 2022 Results (Volume I): Learning in Context<\/em>. Paris: OECD Publishing. https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1787\/4d467ea5-en<\/p>\n

        Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture’s Consequences: Comparing Values, Behaviors, Institutions, and Organizations Across Nations<\/em>. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.<\/p>\n

        Hampden-Turner, C., & Trompenaars, F. (2004). Riding the Waves of Culture<\/em> (3rd ed.). Nicholas Brealey International.<\/p>\n

         <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

        A contribution from Anja Treichel and Siphilisiwe Ndlovu Bundeselternnetzwerk der Migrantenorganisationen f\u00fcr Bildung und Teilhabe (bbt) Draft \u2013 June 2025 This article builds on our earlier reflections on internet addiction among migrant youth. There, we looked at what happens when screens become a child’s escape from the offline world and discussed the phenomenon of parentification, when children take over parents\u2019 tasks and therefore lose their childhood. Now, we turn our attention to a related but often invisible pressure: What happens when that same screen becomes a doorway for bias, bullying, and silence? We shift from the individual to the institutional, from coping to collective care, and from isolation to new kinds of shared boundaries that hold, not hurt. It explores how immigrant parents in Germany experience two particularly charged issues: limiting screen time and bullying. Drawing on cultural theory, social research, and lived experience, it questions the assumptions behind well-meaning parenting advice and calls for a broader, more inclusive understanding of what parenting means in a migration society. Table of Contents Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline Setting Boundaries Is Not Just a Family Task Giving Voice: Tools for Families to Speak and Be Heard Building Shared Agency: Empowering Kids Without Isolating Them Continuity and Follow-Up: Making Boundaries Last From Scattered Apps to Coherent Support Systems From Parents in Isolation to Co-Learning Communities From Lines That Hurt to Lines That Hold Part II: Reframing Parenting Norms in a Migration Society From Complexity to Context \u2013 Why ‘Setting Boundaries’ Isn\u2019t So Simple Parenting in the Context of Migration What Is Culture, Anyway? Cultural Dimensions and Parenting The Power of Framing and Generational Influence Conclusion: Boundaries Are Not One-Size-Fits-All Toward a More Inclusive Parenting Discourse Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online: In the past, an insult on the playground might have ended with detention. Now, it follows children home, lives in their pockets, and sometimes reappears years later as a meme. In our work across migrant communities in Germany, we\u2019ve seen how racial, religious, and cultural bullying rarely stops at the schoolyard \u2013 on the contrary, the schoolyard is a fertile breeding ground for it. It mutates. It spreads through chat threads, gaming servers, and WhatsApp groups and then returns to the classroom, more charged than before. How do you draw fair, realistic boundaries when the harm doesn\u2019t stop at the school gate? What does it take for a teacher to respond with care, not just punishment? And how do migrant families, often juggling three languages, rotating shifts, and little institutional trust, step in early enough to protect their children without cutting them off from their peers and making them feel excluded? Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure: The 2022 KIM study shows that 70% of children in Germany use the internet, with rates increasing sharply with age. By age 10\u201311, more than half own a smartphone. However, two-thirds of parents report not using parental controls or filters. Immigrant parents may face additional barriers: limited digital literacy, lack of information in their language, or uncertainty about what constitutes “normal” screen time. For many immigrant families, phones are lifelines. Children translate bus routes, send voice notes to cousins in Syria or Ghana, and upload photos of their Eid or Orthodox Christmas celebrations to group chats, but in the same chats, they are told their food smells. Or their skin is dirty. Or their headscarf looks like a napkin. According to the 2024 RKI report, 48% of migrant children in Germany report experiencing bias-based bullying in person, and 35% online but these are not two different numbers. They\u2019re often the same insult, just traveling between spaces. A slur shouted in the hallway becomes a screenshot. A teasing nickname becomes a TikTok comment. These difficulties are often compounded in households with multiple generations. Grandparents may not understand the appeal of screens or may use them to soothe children, unaware of educational or behavioral consequences. In multigenerational homes, boundaries are constantly negotiated, often unspokenly, across generational lines. Parents are often told to “limit screen time” to reduce risk, but limiting hours doesn\u2019t limit harm when group chats continue after curfew. Instead, we suggest anchoring phone-free moments to cultural or spiritual rituals: Friday dinners, post-prayer stillness, moments of rest. Let rules feel like collective care, not punishment. Create cool-off windows after school, and frame them as a shared pause: “We\u2019re pausing because this space has too much noise.” For many migrant families, a simple rule like \u201cno phones after eight\u201d isn\u2019t simple at all. It\u2019s not just about discipline, it\u2019s about connection. A device turned off might mean missing the only daily call from a father in another country. Or ignoring a cousin\u2019s voice note that reminds a child where they come from and who still remembers their name. So, what does a boundary look like when it doesn\u2019t cut, but holds? It starts with recognizing what\u2019s at stake. Not just screen time, but identity. Not just safety but belonging. Boundaries don\u2019t have to isolate. They can gather. They can protect without controlling. They can feel like an inside joke, a ritual, a shared pause that everyone understands, not because someone printed it in a flyer, but because the family wrote it together. What if screen time guidance started from the truth that, for some children, the online world is the only place they are fully seen, called by their real name, spoken to in the language they still dream in? Not all boundaries are walls. Some are scaffolding, made to hold us up when the world outside doesn\u2019t. From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline: A fight in the hallway. A whisper during PE. A teasing remark about lunch. These don\u2019t just stay put. They travel. Playground taunts become WhatsApp group jokes. A peer records a tantrum, then<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":939,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6,8,7,9,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-articles","category-articles-parents","category-articles-professionals","category-articles-teachers","category-theme-cyberbullying","category-theme-internet-addiction"],"yoast_head":"\nNavigating Screen Time, Bullying, and Cultural Norms \u2013 Reflections from Migrant Parents in Germany - E-safety counselling center<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Navigating Screen Time, Bullying, and Cultural Norms \u2013 Reflections from Migrant Parents in Germany - E-safety counselling center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"A contribution from Anja Treichel and Siphilisiwe Ndlovu Bundeselternnetzwerk der Migrantenorganisationen f\u00fcr Bildung und Teilhabe (bbt) Draft \u2013 June 2025 This article builds on our earlier reflections on internet addiction among migrant youth. There, we looked at what happens when screens become a child’s escape from the offline world and discussed the phenomenon of parentification, when children take over parents\u2019 tasks and therefore lose their childhood. Now, we turn our attention to a related but often invisible pressure: What happens when that same screen becomes a doorway for bias, bullying, and silence? We shift from the individual to the institutional, from coping to collective care, and from isolation to new kinds of shared boundaries that hold, not hurt. It explores how immigrant parents in Germany experience two particularly charged issues: limiting screen time and bullying. Drawing on cultural theory, social research, and lived experience, it questions the assumptions behind well-meaning parenting advice and calls for a broader, more inclusive understanding of what parenting means in a migration society. Table of Contents Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline Setting Boundaries Is Not Just a Family Task Giving Voice: Tools for Families to Speak and Be Heard Building Shared Agency: Empowering Kids Without Isolating Them Continuity and Follow-Up: Making Boundaries Last From Scattered Apps to Coherent Support Systems From Parents in Isolation to Co-Learning Communities From Lines That Hurt to Lines That Hold Part II: Reframing Parenting Norms in a Migration Society From Complexity to Context \u2013 Why ‘Setting Boundaries’ Isn\u2019t So Simple Parenting in the Context of Migration What Is Culture, Anyway? Cultural Dimensions and Parenting The Power of Framing and Generational Influence Conclusion: Boundaries Are Not One-Size-Fits-All Toward a More Inclusive Parenting Discourse Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online: In the past, an insult on the playground might have ended with detention. Now, it follows children home, lives in their pockets, and sometimes reappears years later as a meme. In our work across migrant communities in Germany, we\u2019ve seen how racial, religious, and cultural bullying rarely stops at the schoolyard \u2013 on the contrary, the schoolyard is a fertile breeding ground for it. It mutates. It spreads through chat threads, gaming servers, and WhatsApp groups and then returns to the classroom, more charged than before. How do you draw fair, realistic boundaries when the harm doesn\u2019t stop at the school gate? What does it take for a teacher to respond with care, not just punishment? And how do migrant families, often juggling three languages, rotating shifts, and little institutional trust, step in early enough to protect their children without cutting them off from their peers and making them feel excluded? Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure: The 2022 KIM study shows that 70% of children in Germany use the internet, with rates increasing sharply with age. By age 10\u201311, more than half own a smartphone. However, two-thirds of parents report not using parental controls or filters. Immigrant parents may face additional barriers: limited digital literacy, lack of information in their language, or uncertainty about what constitutes “normal” screen time. For many immigrant families, phones are lifelines. Children translate bus routes, send voice notes to cousins in Syria or Ghana, and upload photos of their Eid or Orthodox Christmas celebrations to group chats, but in the same chats, they are told their food smells. Or their skin is dirty. Or their headscarf looks like a napkin. According to the 2024 RKI report, 48% of migrant children in Germany report experiencing bias-based bullying in person, and 35% online but these are not two different numbers. They\u2019re often the same insult, just traveling between spaces. A slur shouted in the hallway becomes a screenshot. A teasing nickname becomes a TikTok comment. These difficulties are often compounded in households with multiple generations. Grandparents may not understand the appeal of screens or may use them to soothe children, unaware of educational or behavioral consequences. In multigenerational homes, boundaries are constantly negotiated, often unspokenly, across generational lines. Parents are often told to “limit screen time” to reduce risk, but limiting hours doesn\u2019t limit harm when group chats continue after curfew. Instead, we suggest anchoring phone-free moments to cultural or spiritual rituals: Friday dinners, post-prayer stillness, moments of rest. Let rules feel like collective care, not punishment. Create cool-off windows after school, and frame them as a shared pause: “We\u2019re pausing because this space has too much noise.” For many migrant families, a simple rule like \u201cno phones after eight\u201d isn\u2019t simple at all. It\u2019s not just about discipline, it\u2019s about connection. A device turned off might mean missing the only daily call from a father in another country. Or ignoring a cousin\u2019s voice note that reminds a child where they come from and who still remembers their name. So, what does a boundary look like when it doesn\u2019t cut, but holds? It starts with recognizing what\u2019s at stake. Not just screen time, but identity. Not just safety but belonging. Boundaries don\u2019t have to isolate. They can gather. They can protect without controlling. They can feel like an inside joke, a ritual, a shared pause that everyone understands, not because someone printed it in a flyer, but because the family wrote it together. What if screen time guidance started from the truth that, for some children, the online world is the only place they are fully seen, called by their real name, spoken to in the language they still dream in? Not all boundaries are walls. Some are scaffolding, made to hold us up when the world outside doesn\u2019t. From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline: A fight in the hallway. A whisper during PE. A teasing remark about lunch. These don\u2019t just stay put. They travel. Playground taunts become WhatsApp group jokes. A peer records a tantrum, then\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"E-safety counselling center\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-03-12T13:27:07+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-03-12T14:22:38+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/8.png\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"784\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"441\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Smile Academy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Smile Academy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"17 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Smile Academy\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/#\/schema\/person\/c6c018fb17ee75874215600b3e4c41ae\"},\"headline\":\"Navigating Screen Time, Bullying, and Cultural Norms \u2013 Reflections from Migrant Parents in Germany\",\"datePublished\":\"2026-03-12T13:27:07+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2026-03-12T14:22:38+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941\"},\"wordCount\":3793,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/03\/8.png\",\"articleSection\":[\"Articles\",\"Articles for parents\/guardians\",\"Articles for professionals\",\"Articles for teachers\/educators\",\"Theme: Cyberbullying\",\"Theme: Internet Addiction\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/e-counselling.e-safety-network.eu\/?p=941\",\"name\":\"Navigating Screen Time, Bullying, and Cultural Norms \u2013 Reflections from Migrant Parents in Germany - 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There, we looked at what happens when screens become a child’s escape from the offline world and discussed the phenomenon of parentification, when children take over parents\u2019 tasks and therefore lose their childhood. Now, we turn our attention to a related but often invisible pressure: What happens when that same screen becomes a doorway for bias, bullying, and silence? We shift from the individual to the institutional, from coping to collective care, and from isolation to new kinds of shared boundaries that hold, not hurt. It explores how immigrant parents in Germany experience two particularly charged issues: limiting screen time and bullying. Drawing on cultural theory, social research, and lived experience, it questions the assumptions behind well-meaning parenting advice and calls for a broader, more inclusive understanding of what parenting means in a migration society. Table of Contents Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline Setting Boundaries Is Not Just a Family Task Giving Voice: Tools for Families to Speak and Be Heard Building Shared Agency: Empowering Kids Without Isolating Them Continuity and Follow-Up: Making Boundaries Last From Scattered Apps to Coherent Support Systems From Parents in Isolation to Co-Learning Communities From Lines That Hurt to Lines That Hold Part II: Reframing Parenting Norms in a Migration Society From Complexity to Context \u2013 Why ‘Setting Boundaries’ Isn\u2019t So Simple Parenting in the Context of Migration What Is Culture, Anyway? Cultural Dimensions and Parenting The Power of Framing and Generational Influence Conclusion: Boundaries Are Not One-Size-Fits-All Toward a More Inclusive Parenting Discourse Part I: Digital Challenges and Institutional Responsibility Introduction: \u201cIt was just a joke\u201d until it shows up online: In the past, an insult on the playground might have ended with detention. Now, it follows children home, lives in their pockets, and sometimes reappears years later as a meme. In our work across migrant communities in Germany, we\u2019ve seen how racial, religious, and cultural bullying rarely stops at the schoolyard \u2013 on the contrary, the schoolyard is a fertile breeding ground for it. It mutates. It spreads through chat threads, gaming servers, and WhatsApp groups and then returns to the classroom, more charged than before. How do you draw fair, realistic boundaries when the harm doesn\u2019t stop at the school gate? What does it take for a teacher to respond with care, not just punishment? And how do migrant families, often juggling three languages, rotating shifts, and little institutional trust, step in early enough to protect their children without cutting them off from their peers and making them feel excluded? Screen Time: Hours vs. Exposure: The 2022 KIM study shows that 70% of children in Germany use the internet, with rates increasing sharply with age. By age 10\u201311, more than half own a smartphone. However, two-thirds of parents report not using parental controls or filters. Immigrant parents may face additional barriers: limited digital literacy, lack of information in their language, or uncertainty about what constitutes “normal” screen time. For many immigrant families, phones are lifelines. Children translate bus routes, send voice notes to cousins in Syria or Ghana, and upload photos of their Eid or Orthodox Christmas celebrations to group chats, but in the same chats, they are told their food smells. Or their skin is dirty. Or their headscarf looks like a napkin. According to the 2024 RKI report, 48% of migrant children in Germany report experiencing bias-based bullying in person, and 35% online but these are not two different numbers. They\u2019re often the same insult, just traveling between spaces. A slur shouted in the hallway becomes a screenshot. A teasing nickname becomes a TikTok comment. These difficulties are often compounded in households with multiple generations. Grandparents may not understand the appeal of screens or may use them to soothe children, unaware of educational or behavioral consequences. In multigenerational homes, boundaries are constantly negotiated, often unspokenly, across generational lines. Parents are often told to “limit screen time” to reduce risk, but limiting hours doesn\u2019t limit harm when group chats continue after curfew. Instead, we suggest anchoring phone-free moments to cultural or spiritual rituals: Friday dinners, post-prayer stillness, moments of rest. Let rules feel like collective care, not punishment. Create cool-off windows after school, and frame them as a shared pause: “We\u2019re pausing because this space has too much noise.” For many migrant families, a simple rule like \u201cno phones after eight\u201d isn\u2019t simple at all. It\u2019s not just about discipline, it\u2019s about connection. A device turned off might mean missing the only daily call from a father in another country. Or ignoring a cousin\u2019s voice note that reminds a child where they come from and who still remembers their name. So, what does a boundary look like when it doesn\u2019t cut, but holds? It starts with recognizing what\u2019s at stake. Not just screen time, but identity. Not just safety but belonging. Boundaries don\u2019t have to isolate. They can gather. They can protect without controlling. They can feel like an inside joke, a ritual, a shared pause that everyone understands, not because someone printed it in a flyer, but because the family wrote it together. What if screen time guidance started from the truth that, for some children, the online world is the only place they are fully seen, called by their real name, spoken to in the language they still dream in? Not all boundaries are walls. Some are scaffolding, made to hold us up when the world outside doesn\u2019t. From Playground to Phone: Mapping the Bullying Pipeline: A fight in the hallway. A whisper during PE. A teasing remark about lunch. These don\u2019t just stay put. They travel. Playground taunts become WhatsApp group jokes. 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